Note to Self

Thoughts and Emotions

Thoughts occur in the mind, but they cause emotions that are felt in the body. If we can transfer our awareness from the mind to the sensations in the body, the mind will quieten and the body will relax.

It was the year 2003, I was enjoying my first job in a design studio in Auckland. It was the first time that I savoured the taste of the disposable income. It was a cold saturday afternoon when the hubby was in a mood to accompany me when I went shopping, not to the super market but the shopping mall. I was overjoyed at the thoughts of getting driven around and didn’t have to take the public transport. Public transport to this day in Auckland on a weekend is very bad. I had planned my day and I had also spotted the jumper that I wanted to buy. I was looking forward to a new scarf and the jumper which seen that they were both on sale this weekend.

As I was getting ready to go, the thought crossed my mind that I should remove the long chain with the ruby pendant because I would be trying on several clothes. Yet, I went ahead and didn’t remove them as both the chain and the pendant meant a lot to me. My husband gave me the chain as a wedding gift and the ruby pendant was a gift from my mom on my 18th Birthday. I reminded myself to be careful while changing dresses.

It was the first time we had gone shopping since I had stated working. I treated my husband for lunch even thought it was in a food court. We were celebrating small wins and were happy the ways things were falling into place. Life was good.

Back home standing in front of the mirror and admiring the scarf and trying out different ways to wear it, to my horror, I didn’t see the reflection of the ruby pendant dangling from my chain. There was no chain.

I was immediately transformed, the panic mode button was ON. we drove back to the mall and checked all the changing rooms, spoke to the person who had just finished vacuuming the place and went to the counter

I was so upset with myself that an old habit of severely clenching my jaws came back to bother me. I woke up in the morning with my gums throbbing with pain. For me, any kind of upset shows up in tightly clenched jaws. At times, the clenching is so strong that I have cracked a tooth because of it.

The body is intimately linked to our thoughts and emotions. Thoughts, in general  are linked to our brain. When we think, when we stress, we can feel a physical strain on the brain.Thoughts, in turn, are intimately linked to emotions, so much so, that they are like two sides of a coin – not Mutually Exclusive.

Pick any thought and linked to it will be an emotion. Sometimes, the emotion is subtle. You have to be really watchful to become aware of the emotion. But it is always present, linked to every thought.

What are thoughts?

Thoughts are mental cognitions, our ideas, opinions, and beliefs about ourselves and the world around us. They include the perspectives we bring to any situation or experience that color our point of view.

An example of a long-lived thought is an attitude, which develops as thoughts are repeated over and over and reinforced.

While thoughts are shaped by life experiences, genetics, and education, they are generally under conscious control. In other words, if you are aware of your thoughts and attitudes, you can choose to change them.

What are emotions?

Emotions can be defined as the flow and experience of feelings, for example, joy, sadness, anger, or fear. Emotions can be triggered by something external (from seeing a friend suffer or watching a movie) or something internal (an upsetting memory).

While emotions are universal, each person may experience them and respond to them in a different way. Thus responding to an emotion is unique.

What influences emotions?

Researchers such as Nicholas Christakis and James Fowler, authors of Connected, have also found that emotions are “contagious.” We have a tendency to mimic each other’s outward states. For example, by smiling when someone smiles at us, and our outward states can affect our internal state – smiling can actually make you feel happy.

Emotions can also be influenced by other factors:

  1. Cultural traditions and beliefs can affect the way a group or an individual expresses emotions. There are some cultures in which it is deemed “bad manners” to express emotions in a way that may be considered healthy and appropriate in other cultures.
  2. Genetics can affect the emotional expression of an individual or family. While a person’s genetic makeup cannot be altered, the brain is another story, according to neuroscientist Richard Davidson.  He has identified six distinct “emotional styles” that are based upon the structure of our brains but can be re-shaped with practice.
  3. Physical  conditions: Brain tumors, strokes, Parkinson’s disease, Multiple Sclerosis, Alzheimer’s, and metabolic diseases, such as diabetes and thyroid disorders, can cause a person’s emotional responses to change dramatically.

What we think impacts what we feel

Thoughts and emotions have a profound effect on one another. Thoughts can trigger emotions. For example worrying about an upcoming job interview may cause fear .

How we attend to and appraise our lives has an effect on how we feel. For example, a person with a fear of dogs is likely hyperattentive of the dog across the street and appraises the approach of the dog as threatening, which leads to emotional distress. Another person who appraises the dog’s approach as friendly will have a very different emotional response to the same situation.

Can we change our thoughts and emotions?

We tend to believe that emotions are just “part of us” and can’t be changed.  Research, however, has established that emotions are malleable. They can be changed by:

  • Altering an external situation
  • Shifting our attention
  • Re-appraising a situation

How we choose to live our lives has tremendous power over the way we feel every day.

Sonja Lyubomirsky and other positivity researchers have found that 50% of happiness is determined by your “set point,” or genetics, and 10% is determined by your circumstances (finances, health, living situation). The other 40% is based upon your own intentional efforts to become happier, meaning you have a big say in how you feel.

Certain types of mental training, such as mindfulness or positive thinking, can affect our perceptions of the world and make us feel calmer, more resilient, and happier. Other researchers have identified many other helpful attitudes—such as forgiveness, gratitude, and kindness—that can be cultivated with practice.

If you are aware of your thoughts and emotions, you can choose to change them!

 

 

Advertisements

Seed

Seed is the the unit of reproduction of a plant, capable of developing into another such plant.

Seed capital is the initial capital used when starting a business, often coming from the founders’ personal assets.

Superfood seeds are nutritional powerhouses like chia, hemp, flax, pumpkin and sunflower.

Seed Clothing, a very popular Australian brand.

We come across all of the above  and many more seeds everyday.

But what about the seeds for life ?

Seeding a thought  is planting an idea in some one’s mind.

Sow your own seeds for success.

If a quote is a Seed, the inspiring words that follow it, acts as Water.  The two coupled together hold tremendous power.  They help an idea or thought become rooted within the subconscious mind leading to growth.

All of us love to grow be it at home, work or life. We can make this happen through the exchange of experiences, ideas and  knowledge. Growing and learning  stirs the brain and wakes up passions. This helps in healing, building, learning, becoming courageous and confident. All of these can lead us to the direction of old doors that we didn’t know existed and also to the new ones that we now want to open.

Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.

Success is constant work-in-progress.

Loop

If something runs in a loop, or is on a loop, it runs continuously, so that the same things are repeated again and again: how boring would it be if life was on a loop. Breaking the barriers and moving out of the loop is what bring excitement in life.

Rumi said –

‘It’s your road and yours alone!
Others may walk it with you, but no one can walk it for you!’

We walk our own life path – trudging uphill or gliding through the meandering meadows, at times negotiating through the marshlands and at others crawling through the tumult.

The journey – irrespective of the trail – always adds up to the experience called ‘LIFE’.

Despite, the numerous moments when we want to jump off the rocking boat sailing through the stormy sea, nothing compares to the exhilaration of reaching the destination thereafter.

The ride obviously gets better with wonderful co-passengers through the journey.

Yet, the ride gets enriched with getting to meet the wrong ones too.

We keep some close to heart while others leave their footprint in the sands of time.

Life gets worth its while, with the regular dosage of ups and downs

I would not want to change a bit of my journey!

Would want to face the rest of the journey with equal gusto.

The phrase, ‘Stagnation is death!!’ – stands tall.

via Daily Prompt: Loop

Total

What is total ? The final amount you get when several smaller amounts are added together.

Whatever you look at, if you add up you get a total. The total either brings you happiness or not. There is no in-between there.

The total is not always correct. It depends on where and how you look at it. Little drops of water make a mighty ocean. These little drops are what count. In life it is the same. Little things are the ones that matter most.

It doesn’t matter if your husband or boyfriend does not buy you a mere for your birthday, but what matters is if he holds the door open for you everytime you get into his car.

It doesn’t matter if your mother does not visit you as often as you’d like, but what matters is that she cooks and is always waiting for you when you walk into her house.

It doesn’t matter if you don’t talk to your friend for 3 months, but what matters is that you can pick up from where you last left when you meet her for a cup of tea.

It doesn’t matter if you have a designer wardrobe, but what matters is that you feel comfortable, happy and good in what you wear everyday.

The total of these little things make up everyday life and this what matters most.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/Total

 

 

 

 

 

 

Volume

Volume is the perception of loudness that you can hear.

How many times have you waited for someone to reply to the message you wrote, but never received it?

How many times have you dressed up for someone, waiting to hear from them that you’re beautiful?

How many times have you waited for someone’s call, so that they make you feel happy?

How many times have you waited for someone to appreciate the work you’re doing, so it’s easier for you to continue doing it?

With the reply that never came, the compliment you didn’t hear, the phone call that wasn’t intended, and the appreciation that was held back – you and I, we lost our self-worth.

Since kindergarten, we began to associate our self-worth with the golden stars our teachers gave us. By middle school, this turned into how popular people thought we were and by college, we were living on the compliments we received, and the number of people who praised us.

And till today, we think that our worth is determined by the way others perceive us. Thus, we want our boss to happy with our work, we want our partners to constantly praise us, we want to be noticed, and we want to be appreciated.

Slowly, and gradually, this will harm us. Seeking approval and validation from others will change into a permanent, life-long struggle if we don’t start believing in ourselves.

Stand in front of the mirror and look at yourself – carefully. Speak to your reflection. Loud and clear. Turn up the Volume as much as you want.

Tell your reflection you are beautiful, you are strong. Tell your reflection that you appreciate yourself, that you love yourself. Tell your reflection that you want to make yourself happy. Tell your reflection that you’ll be there for yourself.

Because, sooner or later, we will realize that there is no one who will always be there for us, there is no one who can constantly praise us, appreciate us, and keep us happy. That is our job.

And that job begins by believing that we can help ourselves. It begins from today. Right now.

What is the Volume of the voice in your head that is telling you to believe in yourself and make a start NOW to be there for yourself before you expect anyone else to help you and be there for you ?

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/Volume

 

Uniform

Uniform. Remaining the same in all cases and at all times; unchanging in form or character is what came to my mind when I saw this word now.

How utterly boring will life be if we were to remain the same in all situations. To respond the same to every situation. To remain uniform. This is unimaginable for me.Its giving me shivers even thinking about it.

It would be like an assembly in School where every word and every move is pre-determined and you are expected to follow the rule, like on auto-pilot, without even thinking about it. That for me was the most boring part of school and I still haven’t figured out why one had to start the day at school like that.

Responding and reacting to situations that everyday presents is what make life, life. If everyone’s response and reactions are uniform, then there is nothing that is exciting and it becomes very predictive. What makes life an adventure is the fact that you don’t know what to except, you don’t know how the people around you are going to respond, you are expected to go with the flow and respond to every situation differently. React where needed. Our reactions make memories which stay with us and the people around us for a long time and sometimes for ever.

Be as un-predictive as possible and enjoy the surprises that life throws at you.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/Uniform